You’ve popped the ultimate question and she said yes! Unsure about what’s your role next? Today’s groom is not the same as those in generations past, they are involved and more supportive. In fact, who’s to say that grooms can’t take on as much, if not more task than their partner? Research has shown that men have better organising skills, so here’s your opportunity to put those skills to work. Want to know how you can assist your fiancé and don’t know where to start? Here’s 20 ways how you can do so!
#01 Setting The Wedding Budget
Frankly, there is no escaping this. The wedding budget is the first thing every couple need to complete before moving on into other aspect of wedding planning, since all else depends on how much you can spend. Ask yourselves, how much do you have to spend? And then, how much are you willing to blow on the wedding?
Learn more: How To Get Started On The Wedding Budget
#02 Research and Hiring of Major Vendors
Every wedding consist of vendors that are going to take up a big chunk of your budget. These are the venue, catering, photography, wedding planner and decorator (in no particular order). It’s important to be equally engaged in the selection of vendor, and negotiations thereafter. Narrow down your preferences, then divide and conquer on the researching. Be open and honest about how you feel, your future bride needs to feel that you’re both on the same page since this is likely going to be the biggest party you’ll ever throw.
Learn more: Step By Step Guide To Choosing A Wedding Venue
#03 Communicate With Your Side Of The Family.
In every wedding planning, there is bound to be disagreement. Especially if parents are involved in contributing financially to the expenses, they may feel they are entitled to have a say on how the money is being spent. This is why it’s important that you and your fiancé are on the same page. Chances are you’re going to hear a lot of opinions, therefore it would be best if the both of you remember your reasonings, stick to it and support each other. Having said that, be open to listen to your families’ concerns as it’s possible you may overlooked some necessary arrangements.
#04 Finalise The Guest List
Ok. Your role here is simple and complicated at the same time. Get your personal guest list ready. We’re talking childhood friends, people you went to school with and colleagues (with or without their plus ones). Then, help your parents with theirs, being mindful to keep the guest count within the pre-discussed limits. It is expected that you may have to go through the list a few times. Do remember to gather addresses for the invitations while you’re at it.
Learn more: How To Trim Your Wedding Guest List
#05 Go Shopping For You and Your Groomsmen
No clue what you want to wear on your big day, and what you want your fellow groomsmen to wear? Before you select your suit, talk to your fiancé, think about the overall aesthetics of your wedding and venue. For a luxury event, consider a classic black or white tuxedo. For a garden wedding, a lighter suit with a tie that matches the wedding colour palette would be more appropriate. Personalise your look with a patterned pocket square or individualised cufflinks. Get ideas from your fiancé on how the groomsmen should appear and go shopping together.
#06 Get Your Groomsmen Gifts
Think of a gift that would best sum up your relationship. It could be tickets to watch a football game or personalised canteens for a group of outdoor enthusiast. Alternatively, go practical with gifts of a tie, pocket square or a pair of cufflinks to be worn on the big day. Include personal thank you notes for a sweet touch.
#07 Take Charge Of The Entertainment and Music
Offer to take charge of researching and hiring of the entertainment. Think wedding band, string quartet, saxophonist. Perhaps plan an after party with your favourite DJ on board? Create a wedding playlist on Spotify to provide ambience music during the reception. Select music for the bridal procession, march out (for walking back up the aisle) and first dance.
#08 Go Food Tasting
Asians are big on food, research on caterers and bakeries, join your fiancé on food tastings. Your opinion and feedbacks matter. With so many options available, it’s possible your bride would get overwhelm with the wide variety of selection. Stay by her side, provide assurance and be decisive without being pushy as you navigate one task after the other.
#09 Select And Purchase The Drinks
“We paid a lot of attention to this part of the wedding planning, as our families bond over drinks, so it was definitely a must-have” said groom Subash and bride Sumitha, who hired a bar that served personalised his and her cocktails, beers and other spirits. Carve out custom cocktails or serve your favourite beer, go to town with the wedding bar!
#10 Rent a Bridal Car (if necessary)
Before you rent that dream sports car of yours, do check in with your bride on the gown she’s picked out. If she’s planning to wear a ballgown, you’d have to forgo the idea of that sports car because all that dress won’t be able to fit in your getaway ride. For maximum comfort, pick a car with ample leg room and enough boot space to store your additional outfits etc.
#11 Compile your Childhood Photo Montage
A childhood montage is one the simplest ways to share your story and journey. A walk down memory lane is the perfect way to inject some emotion to any special celebration. Not to mention, cute baby photos are always a welcoming sight.
#12 Coordinate Your Family’s Attire
Make sure your parents and grandparents have the right attire for the wedding. Perhaps get the whole family dressed in a set colour palette. Remember to mention the colour your bride has chosen to wear so that both bride and mother-in-law won’t clash.
#13 Send Out Wedding Invites and Follow Up on RSVPs
In our opinion, the best way to stay organised with invitations and RSVPs is to start a google spreadsheet that both you and your fiancé could easily access for a seamless updating process.
#14 Assign Your Groomsmen Their Task For The Day
Run through the wedding timeline with your best man and point out the times when he should gather the troops during the actual day. Remind him to write his wedding toast. You could also enlist some of your groomsmen to assist the bridesmaids with their tasks.
#15 Purchase Your Wedding Bands
This may seem trivial but pick your wedding bands together to match. Try different metals or materials to see how it would feel on your finger. Relish in the selection process, after all it’s a piece of jewellery that you will be wearing forever.
#16 Get in Shape And Looking Good
Hey looking good is not only for brides! Start a workout routine months before, some skincare wouldn’t kill you either. Make sure you are properly groomed before the big day– get a haircut two weeks before your wedding day and avoid trying anything new. Ok, now, before you get turn off by the idea of a manicure, just know that you can get a basic treatment for your nails, have them trimmed and looking neat for the big day. What’s with all the fuss, you wonder? That is because your photographer is going to take a lot of close up shots of you as well.
#17 Plan The Honeymoon
Take off the edge of wedding planning every now and then and shift your focus to the honeymoon instead. This is going to be a fun one, after all it’s only for the both of you and something to look forward to.
#18 Prepare Your Vow and Speech
It’s best not to leave this to-do list till the last minute, take some time to yourself a week before the wedding day to jot down your feelings, think through the promises you’d like to make to your bride. Feeling stuck? Scroll through pictures on your phone and take a walk down memory lane for inspiration. Not good with words? Have a friend look through your write up or search online for templates. However you decide to go with it, it should feel authentic and sincere.
#19 Be Punctual and Enjoy Yourself
Make sure you allocate plenty of time getting ready, you may not take as long as the bride but tying bow-ties and pinning corsages might take longer than you think. Leave plenty of room for any hiccups that may arise. Have a tendency to oversleep? Set an alarm or assign one of your more responsible groomsmen to keep everyone in line and on time. Finally, after months of planning, the day has arrived. Remember to relish every moment and just enjoy yourself.
#20 Throw In A Surprise Performance For Your Bride On The Actual Day!
Finally it’s always a nice gesture to throw in a little surprise performance for your beloved. Have a talent? This is your time to shine and score some brownie points while you’re at it.